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Etiquette in Swinging
A few pointers
that Miss Manners didn't mention
Swinging
is a social activity. Whether attending a party, meeting
with another couple privately or engaging with a single
person for a threesome, the participants are getting acquainted.
As in any social activity there are expected rules of conduct.
Swinging is no exception, and if followed you will find
yourself welcomed within the swinging community. Some general
rules are:
- Make
a reservation. For most off premise clubs if you
are a member and it is a regular social there is no
need for reservations. If you are new or want to visit
it is polite to make reservations. For large special
occasion parties reservations are requested because
of the limited number allowed. If you make reservations
and can not attend, call so the hosts can call someone
waiting to attend. For a house party it is best to let
your host know you will be there. Click
here for more details on house party etiquette.
Single males must always make reservations to attend
any type of swinging party.
- Good
grooming. The way you present yourself is always
a plus (or minus) in swinging. Be aware of your body
and take care of it. Few things kill ardor more quickly
than body odor. Be aware of your kissing tasting like
cigarettes or liquor. Attractive but casual party clothes
are usually best. If you are attending an on-premise
party, take a robe, negligee or other slip on. Most
off premise parties are a chance for you to dress to
impress. Most clubs have a dress code for men and woman
can dress as risqué as their personality will
allow. Good mental and emotional health will make you
popular in the swinging community. (plus it adds to
your vertical life) No one appreciates a negative person
with nothing good to say. Be ready to smile, laugh and
have an obvious interest in others.
- Everyone
has the right of refusal.
You should not swing with anyone unless you want to,
and they don't have to swing with you. Be honest with
yourself regarding your feelings and desires. Communicate
those feelings and desires with your partner and other
couples. Expect others to be honest with you. Only ask
those you want to say "yes." If they say "no",
take it graciously. No amount of sweet talk will coax
anyone to change his or her mind. When you say "yes"
to others, be honest and enthusiastic. When you say
"no" be tactful and courteous. Do not say
"maybe later" if you mean "no."
One of the nicest things about this lifestyle is we
relate to each other with understanding, thoughtfulness
and common courtesy.
- Illegal
substances are prohibited. Please remember marijuana
is illegal. Swinging is its own pleasure, do not dilute
it and do not subject yourself and others to legal hassles.
Going in and out of a party or social to your car will
be suspect. We are testing the waters of tradition in
the lifestyle, no need to add further ridicule. If it
is a house party and it is BYOB (bring your own bottle),
only drink what you brought. At most socials, it is
illegal to take drinks out of the social room and return
with drinks.
- Talk
to the hosts. Whether you are at an off-premise,
on-premise or house party, if you had a good time let
the host know. They are pleased to know they have had
a successful party. If it isn't your thing, just leave.
To speak disparagingly about the party to other quest
is simply poor manners. If another guest causes a problem,
will not take "no" for an answer or is objectionable
in any real way, tell the host. They sincerely want
to know so the problem can be corrected and alleviated
in the future.
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